"the world is sad, I have been beaten bloody twice now..I rather it not happen by those I depend to help me when I need to go to war."As far back as I can remember, the normal never set well with me. Questions about things no one could answer or didn't want to answer. My family did what they could to prepare me for a world in which people just saw color and name brands. It took 13 years for me to understand why I wanted and who I was gonna be. Sadly to this day, I stand on a the reflection of that person. Yet, I do not stand there saying why, I simple say to myself almost there. After I graduated high school, I thought the weight of the judgmental and name dropping had ended. I was soon to discover it had just begun. I don't get out much, a normal day is sitting in my room reading news stories and talking to what little real friends I have. There have been people who never let me fall off the right paths in life. They have always kept me focused. These are the people who mean most to me. I could name more, but I feel lately those people are not who they said they were. Poetry and writing helps me get by too.

Lay Awake (paranoia)
Have you ever lay awake at night, just laying on your bed.
All of a sudden you heard a patterned sound.
The sound reminds you of footsteps, and they sound like they are drawing near.
They quicken and quicken as your thoughts begin to race.
You think you can it be, why in this place?
You cover your head and close your eyes.
Yet the sound keeps coming faster, faster in your mind.
Just as the sound sounds so close to touch.
You get the courage to roll over and rush.
Like maybe if you stand up to the sound, it would just back down.
You fling off the covers and stare into the darkness.
Yet you see nothing, or no one there.
The sound has gone now, as quickly as it came.
This makes you sit and wonder.
Was there anything at all?
What made me heard that sound?
I have to say, it is a interesting thing.
The fear that drives us all insane.
The sad things is, your body makes the sound, for it is your pulse
With the fear you had made it speed up.
It is paranoia that makes you fear, all the things that maybe near.


To give your another scare next time this happens.
There has been mental patients committed for less.
There has even been the rare cause of death.
Next time, just think you can be committed for this,
or maybe, just maybe, someone is actually there.
Then there is football. Best sport out there. I am at the age now were most of my favorite football stars are retired or retiring. The greats like Jerry Rice, Dan Marino, and Barry Sanders. Then there is the people I felt left too soon like, Eddie George and Thurman Thomas. Then there are those who left due to injury like Bo Jackson. Let us not forget those greats who's lives ended too soon
Reggie White and Derrick Thomas

music, movies, football, baseball, basketball, booze, and life, www.myspace.com/jkwhitaker, www.myspace.com/thekearse

maybe I will take the time to write that out soon, basically anything but country

40 Year Old Virgin, 300, American History X, Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Begins, Boondock Saints, Cars, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Edward Scissorhands, From Hell, Pirates of the Caribbean Series

NFL, 24, Californication, Nip Tuck, Six Feet Under, cartoons, mostly older ones. Rockos Modern Life, South Park, Family Guy, American Dad, Invader Zim, Angry Beavers, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, and Ed, Edd, and Eddy

there isn't too many actually